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Avoid Falling Into the Texting Trap

posted Jan 18, 2011, 5:36 PM by The Sugar List   [ updated Mar 31, 2011, 12:02 PM by Stephany F. ]

You meet a new guy, conversation ensues, and cell phone numbers are swapped.
  Now what?

While cell phones have undoubtedly helped the world connect, they have also given us a tool that can be both helpful and dangerous in the world of dating: the text message.  Texting can be hazardous during the first few weeks of dating.  We give our take on when to text and when to step away from your Blackberry:

Let him be the first text. It is a common myth among men that women are crazy text-addicts. Prove him wrong by abstaining from contacting him. It may be tempting to shoot him a quick text, but it is important to let him come to you.  Keep an air of mystery, ladies.

If he does text you, keep it light. Allow him to set up the first date over text message, but don’t start having in-depth conversations. This is a trap most of us tend to fall into, because we are so anxious to keep the conversation going. He will not lose interest if you cut the conversation short after a little back-and-forth. If anything, this type of texting will heighten his interest. Plus, you don’t want to risk running out of things to talk about on your first date!

Give him the opportunity to call you. If you're comfortable with talking on the phone, say something along the lines of, “Hey, why don’t you give me a call later today and we can chat then?” Try and get in voice time to get him in the mindset to ask you for a second date by phone.


Don't let text messaging be your life raft. If he isn’t texting or calling you do not, we repeat, DO NOT bombard him with text messages. The worst thing you can send to a guy is a “Hey, what’s up” text message. It’s easy to ignore, it can be slightly annoying, and the most common response is a “not much, you?”

We’re not saying you have to take a completely passive role. Sometimes men can be a little clueless. Give him a few days to text you after the first or second date. If he doesn’t, and you’re really interested in hanging out again, shoot him a text recalling something that made him think of you and propose a casual date. Say something like, “Hey I heard ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’ on the radio and laughed thinking of you singing karaoke to it the other night. Want to grab coffee on Saturday?”

If he answers yes, great. If he says no or makes up some lame excuse, cut your losses and move on, sister.  We promise, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. By following these simple rules, you can avoid falling into the texting trap. Good luck!


By: Maria del Russo
Image Credit: 1, 2
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